EDMONTON, Premier Krystal Smith, who until last Thursday was known as Danielle Smith, signed legislation Monday making it illegal for any person with an androgynous or gender neutral first name to hold employment with the Government of Alberta, a move the Premier described as a 'common sense step toward unmuddying the waters between the two genders.'

The Clarity in Public Service Act, tabled and passed within the same 90 minute legislative window, instructs the province's HR division to maintain a master list of names deemed 'sufficiently masculine or sufficiently feminine,' with a review committee to be appointed by the Premier's office. Names appearing on neither list, including Jordan, Taylor, Morgan, Avery, Riley, and, in an internal memo obtained by The Alberta Advantage, Danielle, will be flagged for what the bill calls 'voluntary resolution.'

Asked whether her own name change from Danielle to Krystal was connected to the bill, the Premier said the timing was a 'happy coincidence' and that she had been considering the change for years. Pressed on why the announcement came three days after a pro separation petition was returned to organizers for listing the Premier 14,000 times as 'Daniel Smith, Premire of Alberta,' she said the question was 'a gotcha' and that the petition's signatories were 'expressing themselves in good faith, just with limited access to spellcheck.'

Justice Minister Mickey Amery, whose own name was reportedly added to the masculine list 'as a courtesy' on Friday, defended the legislation as narrowly tailored. 'We are not telling Albertans what to be called,' he told reporters. 'We are simply telling the Government of Alberta who it is willing to pay. There is a difference, and I have been instructed not to elaborate on it.'

Public service unions noted that the bill appears to affect approximately 4,200 current government employees, who will be given 30 days to either provide documentation that their name is in fact gendered, choose a replacement name from a province approved list, or accept reassignment to a newly created agency called the Office of Pending Names. A spokesperson for the Premier confirmed the office has no budget, no mandate, and no physical location, describing it as 'more of a vibe than a department.'

The Premier ended the press conference by reminding reporters that her name is now Krystal, spelled with a K, that it has 'always been Krystal in spirit,' and that anyone who continues to refer to her as Danielle will be considered to be doing so 'for political reasons.' She then declined to take questions from a reporter named Jamie.