Breaking

Province Reassures Calgarians That Weekend's Road Trauma Will Be Handled By Whichever Of The Four New Health Agencies Is Responsible For That NowAlberta Signs One (1) Family Doctor to Five-Year, $4-Million Deal, Calls It a 'Solid Pickup for the Healthcare Locker Room'Province Unveils Bold Economic Strategy Centred On Repeatedly Replacing Everyone's RoofProvince Declares Stampede Tent Noise a Vital Economic Indicator, Warns Decibel Reduction Could Trigger RecessionProvince Assures Cyclists That Alberta's Healthcare System Stands Ready To Treat Injuries It Has No Intention Of PreventingAnti-Abortion Group Insists Free Market Of Ideas Should Be Exempt From Quality Control, Refunds, And TruthAlberta Unveils New Provincial Policing Model In Which The Suspect Is Identified By You, PersonallyPolice Dog Receives Emergency Surgery Within Hours, Raising Questions About How It Qualified For Faster Care Than Most AlbertansAlberta Government Convenes Emergency Panel To Determine Whether Oilers Can Afford Connor Murphy, Cannot Locate Same Urgency For $33 Billion In Forgone RoyaltiesProvince Praises Public's Help in Police Investigation as Visionary Model for Doing Policing Without the Cost of PolicingHealth Minister Hails Stampeders' 1,409 Rushing Yards as 'New Provincial Benchmark for Distance to Nearest Open ER'Calgary Eco Solar Tour Draws Record Crowd of Homeowners Quietly Defying the Province Province Reassures Calgarians That Weekend's Road Trauma Will Be Handled By Whichever Of The Four New Health Agencies Is Responsible For That NowAlberta Signs One (1) Family Doctor to Five-Year, $4-Million Deal, Calls It a 'Solid Pickup for the Healthcare Locker Room'Province Unveils Bold Economic Strategy Centred On Repeatedly Replacing Everyone's RoofProvince Declares Stampede Tent Noise a Vital Economic Indicator, Warns Decibel Reduction Could Trigger RecessionProvince Assures Cyclists That Alberta's Healthcare System Stands Ready To Treat Injuries It Has No Intention Of PreventingAnti-Abortion Group Insists Free Market Of Ideas Should Be Exempt From Quality Control, Refunds, And TruthAlberta Unveils New Provincial Policing Model In Which The Suspect Is Identified By You, PersonallyPolice Dog Receives Emergency Surgery Within Hours, Raising Questions About How It Qualified For Faster Care Than Most AlbertansAlberta Government Convenes Emergency Panel To Determine Whether Oilers Can Afford Connor Murphy, Cannot Locate Same Urgency For $33 Billion In Forgone RoyaltiesProvince Praises Public's Help in Police Investigation as Visionary Model for Doing Policing Without the Cost of PolicingHealth Minister Hails Stampeders' 1,409 Rushing Yards as 'New Provincial Benchmark for Distance to Nearest Open ER'Calgary Eco Solar Tour Draws Record Crowd of Homeowners Quietly Defying the Province

Category Premier

Premier

Alberta Separatists Announce They Were Never Polling Well On Purpose, As Part Of Larger Strategy

Movement insiders clarify that the historically low numbers are 'a deliberate feint' designed to lull Ottawa into a false sense of security.

2026-06-06
Premier

Smith Government Commissions $400-Billion Study To Determine Whether Leaving Canada Is, In Fact, A Good Idea

Premier insists the staggering figure is not a reason to reconsider, but rather 'a number we will be putting on a very nice chart.'

2026-06-02
Premier

Smith Vows To Campaign Tirelessly Against The Separatist Movement She Spent Three Years Cultivating Like A Prize Tomato

Premier insists she has always been Team Canada, citing a 2019 grocery receipt and a vague feeling.

2026-05-24
Premier

Premier Krystal Smith Signs Bill Banning Androgynous Names From Alberta Public Service, Citing Need to 'Unmuddy the Waters Between the Two Genders'

The Premier, who legally changed her name from Danielle last Thursday, says the legislation is about clarity, and definitely not about a separatist petition that misspelled her name 14,000 times.

2026-05-23
Cabinet

Schulz Resigns as Environment Minister, Replaced by Man Who Believes Environment Is 'Mostly Just Weather'

Grant Hunter, the incoming minister, has previously argued that climate change can be 'opted out of' by individual provinces.

2026-02-05
Sovereignty

Smith Returns From Vacation, Addresses Separatism by Suggesting Everyone Calm Down While She Continues to Stoke It

Premier insists Alberta is not leaving Canada, except possibly, and only on terms that have not yet been articulated.

2026-01-30
The Premier's Desk

Smith Rules Out Spring Election, Citing 'Mandate to Continue Doing Whatever This Is'

Premier confirms next provincial vote will happen in 2027 as legally required, framing the absence of a snap election as a 'gift' to Albertans.

2026-01-15
The Premier's Desk

Smith Insists Her Panama Vacation Is Actually a Trade Mission to a Country She'll Be Moving To Eventually

Premier rejects 'vacation' framing while declining to address questions about why she would not be returning to her own jurisdiction until Jan. 19.

2026-01-08