EDMONTON — Citing its ongoing commitment to local control and the principle that Albertans know their neighbourhoods best, the provincial government today formally rolled out a new policing framework whose central investigative tool is a Facebook post asking if anyone happens to recognize a black Nissan Murano.

The model, which officials described as "agile," "community-led," and "extremely cost-effective," tasks members of the public with the bulk of suspect identification, leaving sworn officers free to focus on higher priorities such as issuing the press release that asks the public to do this.

"After the two vehicles became involved in an interaction, our investigators sprang into action by uploading a description of the interaction and waiting," said a spokesperson, reading from a statement that thanked the public in advance for solving the crime. "We have full confidence in the tip line, the comment section, and a man named Gary who says he saw a Mazda like that near the Tim Hortons."

Pressed on whether outsourcing investigation to unpaid civilians might constitute, in effect, an unpaid second job, the spokesperson clarified that community-led policing does not mean the community gets a budget, a badge, or a say — only the homework. The province noted that any Albertan who successfully identifies a suspect will be rewarded with the satisfaction of a job well done and a follow-up post asking them to also identify a different suspect.

Critics pointed out that the government has spent considerable sums studying whether to replace existing policing with a provincial force, only to land on a system where the force is, functionally, whoever is scrolling at 11 p.m. The Justice Minister rejected this characterization as "deeply unfair," adding that the new model also accepts tips by phone.

At press time, the province had announced a bold expansion of the program in which Albertans would additionally be asked to identify the colour of the second vehicle, the time of the incident, and, eventually, the suspect, the motive, and a workable theory of provincial governance.