Responding to a recent Angus Reid survey that found large numbers of Albertans unsure what they would actually be voting on in a separation referendum, the provincial government has announced a sweeping update to the K-12 social studies curriculum designed to ensure the next generation is confused with confidence.

The flagship grade-six module, titled What Are We Even Voting On, runs students through a series of exercises in which no question is ever fully answered. Sample worksheet prompts include 'Define sovereignty in your own words,' 'Now define it again differently,' and 'Which of these is correct? Trick question — explain why asking is divisive.'

Education Minister Demetrios Nicolaides defended the approach as reflective of lived reality. "Polling shows that 35 per cent of Albertans support leaving and a great many of them aren't sure what leaving entails," he said. "Rather than fight that, we're building a curriculum that honours it. We're not teaching them what separation means. We're teaching them that asking what it means is a sign of a healthy democracy and also probably the work of activists."

The curriculum's civics unit replaces the traditional diagram of how a bill becomes law with a single slide reading 'It depends on the Premier's mood,' a change officials describe as 'aligning instruction with observed outcomes.' A companion poster, distributed to every classroom, depicts a question mark wearing a cowboy hat.

Critics have noted that the survey also found 40 per cent of respondents believe Premier Danielle Smith doesn't particularly care what happens as long as she remains in power. The province has addressed this directly in the grade-nine syllabus, where students are asked to write a persuasive essay on the topic 'Is the Government Working For You, Or Is That a Naive Way to Frame It,' graded entirely on enthusiasm.

At a parent information night, one mother asked whether her child would graduate knowing what country they live in. After a lengthy pause, a ministry official confirmed the question would be on the final exam, worth zero marks, and that there were no wrong answers, only Albertans.